Delicious Snark #5

In honour of our lovely W heading off overseas, I present to you our delightful Ms D in all her delicious glory.

Problem is, I can't find much wrong with this photo, nothing to snark about. This makes me very sad. And is simply further proof that Australia is going to hell in a handbasket. I mean, if a girl can't snark about her favourite over-exposed chef, then what's to become of her?

She doesn't even look too uncomfortable sitting there at the Hard Rock Cafe. Her teeth are present and accounted for, and I'm starting to worry about that lazy eye of hers, but seriously guys? What's to deconstruct?

Very disappointing.

Maybe you can help? Maybe this is how my lurker (now up to August 06 in the archives) can introduce themselves?

Delicious Snark #4

Sorry about the brief hiatus in Delicious Snark. I know you've all missed it (waves at W). But I just wasn't getting the inspiration. However I've decided to re-assume the mantel of responsibility and Just Do It.

So, this being June's issue of Delicious had but a tiny photo of Jill, squished into one corner of the page, and I was all 'Arck! They're on to me!', but phew! July's issue was back with the full-page spread so we're ok here a little while longer...

But man! How pissed does she look? It's like she knows she's been relegated to a corner while Nigella still beams naughtily from a full-page photo. That, and the fact that she's actually in a kitchen this time, not swanning about in restaurants and farmers markets...

And I'm still trying to work out if that's a bedazzled apron or just the dreaded high-waisted pants???? Help me out here!

Delicious Snark #3

For those of you who haven't a clue (ie, everyone else bar W) Delicious is a monthly cooking magazine published by the ABC. Every month without fail the photo of their regular 'guest chef' Jill Dupliex, is am opportunity for snark not easily beaten...



Behold! May's issue!



It's like a check list of all that we love about Jill...



Large expanses of pearly white enamel... (Boy does she do her dentist proud...)? Tick!



Creepy 'Oh my goodness, what am I doing here...' expression? Tick!



Insatiable urge to grab random foodstuffs and clasp them close to her chest? Tick!



Ah Jill, last month I coveted the life you lead, in which you can swan about farmers' markets in a cocktail dress, squeezing tomatoes lasciviously... This month we see the unfortunate mirror image: the cowering behind the racking in a duffel coat, clutching the ill-gotten proceeds of your latest 'smash & grab' expedition to the local Italian Deli... This month I will bestow on you my pity... and this little tip... (seriously - go to Tesco - pasta is still surprisingly affordable, just starve Terry a little more and you'll be fine - please! leave this life of crime behind...)

Delicious Snark #2

Unfortunately, as Miss W pointed out to me in the pub on Friday night, this month's issue of Delicious just isn't up to scratch in the snark department....




All I can really say about this is that Ms Dupleix has a very good dentist. And that obviously all that time spent growing up on a farm meant that there may have been some genetic mix-up with a horse at some stage...



SO I have had to reach back to February's issue to provide you with a snark-worthy photo of such blessed contrivance...



Oh Jill! How I wish I had your life with all your swanning around farmers markets in glamourous cocktail dresses, fondling tomatoes and other perishables... it makes my ordinary life seem so mundane...

Delicious Snark #1

This is for my fellow cookbook-devouring blogger, Miss W:

*Explanation below, for you non-gastroporn lovers...

Jill Dupleix

Is it not just the most Delicious one yet? I find it hard to believe that even this little camera-shy wallflower could have submitted to this photo shoot. I mean, who willingly submits to being squeezed by a sleazy boater-behatted fishmonger. No-one - that's who!

But, you live and learn... and wait for next month to see what contrived pose Delicious can force Ms Jill to submit to...

*Okay, people don't seem to get this here post. And so here's the backstory:

Delicious is a cooking magazine. And every month, one of it's featured chefs is Jill Dupleix. And every single month, without fail, she has a full page photo of her in increasingly bizarre and contrived situations. And she grins in her irritating and superior manner through it all...
I thought last months, where she was suspiciously fondling market vegetables was odd, but this month takes the cake.