Reality Bites Arse

I am a big fat lazy turd.

This is a realisation that has been gradually dawning on me. When you pass that magic '30' milestone, the kilos just don't seem to disappear like they used to... They kinda just hang around and lurk malevolently.

I decided to do something about it this morning, and determined to indulge in some gentle exercise... I dragged myself out of bed at 6am (something suprisingly easy to do when it's broad bloody daylight and the twins have been awake for an hour already) and wandered down to the football fields behind my house. I thought I'd be sensible and ease myself into an exercise regime by doing the whole 'jog for 2 minutes, walk for 4' thing until I could get my body to recognise that fitness is a Good Thing.

I managed to 'jog' for about 55 seconds before my lungs threatened to spontaneously combust. Gee I love my shortcomings being brought home to me in such a timely manner.
I also discovered a number of other key things to remember for future reference (Ha! Not bloody likely...)

• It is very difficult to breath when you have phlegm building up in your throat (again, courtesy of the Typhoid Twins).
• If you intend expectorating, try not to do so when running into a northerly headwind. The phlegm will end up splatting back into face, which is not a good look.
• If you have recently sprained (or something, still not sure what it was) an ankle, it may be a good idea to strap it before commencing exercise.

All in all it's been quite an educational morning.