Wonk
I broke my toe on Christmas Day - walked into a motherf**** hammock stand. And yes, it does require expletives because
a) it was a massive heavy wooden hammock stand and,
b) I was very restrained when I did it...
My father and PossumBoy were in a paddling pool 'amusing' my younger daughters - said 'amusement' consisted of daughters pouring water over Grandad and squealing with delight - hey, it kept them amused in the 43 temp, so I was pretty happy...
Until they decided that one cup between two didn't go so I turned to get another cup... and collected the hammock stand in the process.
My toe cracked.
PossumBoy and Dad had a conversation regarding the loudness of the crack and the probability that it may be broken... while remaining in the pool.
I got the cup - tossed it to the child, and collapsed in a sobbing heap.
The bruising covered my entire foot and made life quite, um, difficult for a while. It's now kinda mank and wonky with a funny ridge where my toe joins the rest of my foot. And I am considering legal action against the owner of the guilty hammock stand...
Anyway, the moral of the story, is that it's now also apparently a magnet for any piece of furniture or random falling item in the house - I've bashed it every day this week and today managed to drop a 3L bottle of juice on it.
I reckon there's a PhD study in there somewhere...
They can also study the reasoning as to why I won't take pain killers because 'it's only a toe'...
a) it was a massive heavy wooden hammock stand and,
b) I was very restrained when I did it...
My father and PossumBoy were in a paddling pool 'amusing' my younger daughters - said 'amusement' consisted of daughters pouring water over Grandad and squealing with delight - hey, it kept them amused in the 43 temp, so I was pretty happy...
Until they decided that one cup between two didn't go so I turned to get another cup... and collected the hammock stand in the process.
My toe cracked.
PossumBoy and Dad had a conversation regarding the loudness of the crack and the probability that it may be broken... while remaining in the pool.
I got the cup - tossed it to the child, and collapsed in a sobbing heap.
The bruising covered my entire foot and made life quite, um, difficult for a while. It's now kinda mank and wonky with a funny ridge where my toe joins the rest of my foot. And I am considering legal action against the owner of the guilty hammock stand...
Anyway, the moral of the story, is that it's now also apparently a magnet for any piece of furniture or random falling item in the house - I've bashed it every day this week and today managed to drop a 3L bottle of juice on it.
I reckon there's a PhD study in there somewhere...
They can also study the reasoning as to why I won't take pain killers because 'it's only a toe'...
posted by actonb at 5:58 pm
5 Comments:
It must be a 'sign' that you need to sit down and be waited on hand and foot. Did you go to the doctor to confirm the breakage? Did they not plaster it?
Did it not occur to these people to call a toe truck?
KR- no I didn't go to a dr. It was kinda obvious... and they don't plaster toes... they just strap them if they can be bothered.
But I do like the idea of being waited on hand & foot.I shall have to take this proposal to MrB and see what he thinks ;)
INC - *snortle*
You really are The Man when it comes to puns, bad or not, aren't you? And for this I thank you...
I think there's a message in that story for all of us:
no matter what your financial circumstances, buying in bulk has hidden costs
I read something about this once, it might have been Oliver Sacks, but I think there has been a study on it. It's something to do with the body sending pain relieving chemicals to your toe, so your brain kind of forgets that it's there and you hit it more often. That information isn't going to make your toe feel better though.
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