Kiss Chasey
This heckler from the SMH caught my eye and burrowed itself into my mind...
...Still, there's one thing that I just can't seem to nail: to kiss or not to kiss? Socially, that is.
At my first job, I was horrified to find farewells and birthdays fraught with social kissing. As I maneuvered away from the scrum, I'd offer a cheery wave, but it never seemed enough.
When a newfound friend picked me up for a gallery visit and planted one on me, I was shocked and kept a steely eye on her all afternoon. As my social network grew, so did the dread. Days before social gatherings, I'd find myself worrying about who was going, if they knew my non-kissing status and whether my past transgressions would be remembered.
With friends, I'd leave a respectable distance between us, which led to tense farewells, involving much exaggerated waving and nervous laughter.
Then one day I bumped into someone I knew and no kissing ensued. It got me thinking. Were there rules?...
I have only recently become a social kisser, and let me tell you, it's taken years of therapy to overcome that traditional English reserve to be able to come to this point. I've always been a fan of the hug - even a public hug - but the kiss was always a step too far.
However, a kisser I now am, whatever that may do to my internal balance.
I now have another problem though... It seems there are two types of people in the world: those I will kiss, and those won't... and there is no immediate distinction between the two groups. For instance: I am happy to kiss Miss W and Mex, yet I don't kiss Chesty when we all meet up for drinks... (like tonight - *squee*) Which is downright odd when you consider that Ms Chesty has been to my house a few times, and even came along as an honoured guest to Miss H's birthday party. I do not understand. It is inexplicable.
It even extends to family friends - there are those of my parents friends who I am all 'Oh! Rob! Jillane! Mwah mwah!' and others who I still do the stiff wave and formal "Hi Mr and Mrs So-and-So, how lovely to see you again"
There's even memebers of my own family who I don't kiss - my sister-in-law is one, my brother-in-law another - as is MrB's cousin - but that's only because she air-kisses, and the air kiss just shits me. So I don't kiss her on purpose.
I'm thinking that maybe I subconsciously react to the Other Person's position on the public kiss - maybe if they're not someone who likes the Kiss, then I automatically respect that, picking up on vibrations in the air...
Or, maybe I'm just a snob.
Gah! Modern Etiqeuette - it throws me everytime!
...Still, there's one thing that I just can't seem to nail: to kiss or not to kiss? Socially, that is.
At my first job, I was horrified to find farewells and birthdays fraught with social kissing. As I maneuvered away from the scrum, I'd offer a cheery wave, but it never seemed enough.
When a newfound friend picked me up for a gallery visit and planted one on me, I was shocked and kept a steely eye on her all afternoon. As my social network grew, so did the dread. Days before social gatherings, I'd find myself worrying about who was going, if they knew my non-kissing status and whether my past transgressions would be remembered.
With friends, I'd leave a respectable distance between us, which led to tense farewells, involving much exaggerated waving and nervous laughter.
Then one day I bumped into someone I knew and no kissing ensued. It got me thinking. Were there rules?...
I have only recently become a social kisser, and let me tell you, it's taken years of therapy to overcome that traditional English reserve to be able to come to this point. I've always been a fan of the hug - even a public hug - but the kiss was always a step too far.
However, a kisser I now am, whatever that may do to my internal balance.
I now have another problem though... It seems there are two types of people in the world: those I will kiss, and those won't... and there is no immediate distinction between the two groups. For instance: I am happy to kiss Miss W and Mex, yet I don't kiss Chesty when we all meet up for drinks... (like tonight - *squee*) Which is downright odd when you consider that Ms Chesty has been to my house a few times, and even came along as an honoured guest to Miss H's birthday party. I do not understand. It is inexplicable.
It even extends to family friends - there are those of my parents friends who I am all 'Oh! Rob! Jillane! Mwah mwah!' and others who I still do the stiff wave and formal "Hi Mr and Mrs So-and-So, how lovely to see you again"
There's even memebers of my own family who I don't kiss - my sister-in-law is one, my brother-in-law another - as is MrB's cousin - but that's only because she air-kisses, and the air kiss just shits me. So I don't kiss her on purpose.
I'm thinking that maybe I subconsciously react to the Other Person's position on the public kiss - maybe if they're not someone who likes the Kiss, then I automatically respect that, picking up on vibrations in the air...
Or, maybe I'm just a snob.
Gah! Modern Etiqeuette - it throws me everytime!
posted by actonb at 10:21 am
5 Comments:
Oh Darling! it absolutely has to do with the OP's reaction.
but looking forward to planting one on you later! squee indeed!
Are we talking lip or cheek here??? Cheek is ok, but lip is going to far....if they are going for lip i'm going to grab butt cheek.
I am the not-unpleased recipient of a social kiss from one of my friends I've known for a little under a year.
Another friend I met at EXACTLY the same time, who is in all ways (friendwise) identical to social kiss offerer #1, does not offer or receive social kisses.
I think there are people who Do and people who Don't. I'm just not sure which one I am.
Mex - Big mwahs coming your way!
Shrooms - hey! You're back!cheek all the way. We're not that European...
GW - hmmm... I think you're like me - a chameleon - you'll kiss those who kiss and don't those who, well, don't...
It's a generational and gender thing, AB, I'd say.
I cannot recall when I last kissed my father goodbye/hello, but I have a good mate who does and is not phased by it (Cheek only, no tongue).
I think a man who goes to socially kiss a woman he is not familar with is crossing a line these days, but with yoof having "friends with benefits" and FB's, I guess a kiss on the cheek is the last of their concerns...
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