Mind over Matter makes Pooh un-fatter!
Snortle snortle snerk.
Annabel Crabb is the only thing worthwhile about this bloody election.
Behold - the wonders of the Pooh metephor!
The day two cunning adventurers fell into their own big Heffalump trap
Annabel Crabb
November 8, 2007
IT WAS reckless talk from Christopher Robin about Heffalumps - those terrifying, shambling creatures - that first planted the idea for Pooh and Piglet.
They would build a Heffalump trap!
You may be familiar with the story; the intrepid pair dig a Very Deep Pit in the woods, in the hope of ensnaring the fabled beast through sheer cunning.
"Pooh rubbed his nose with his paw, and said that the Heffalump might be walking along, humming a little song, and looking up at the sky, wondering if it would rain, and so he wouldn't see the Very Deep Pit until he was halfway down, when it would be too late."
Pooh and Piglet's Heffalump trap was baited with honey, which was a very clever choice of bait.
And it was cunningly disguised, so as to take the fearsome Heffalump completely unawares.
In fact, it was such a brilliant trap that after a while Pooh and Piglet forgot they had even built it, which was around about the point at which they both fell into it.
Three years ago in Australia, another pair of adventurers came up with a similar sort of trap.
One of the adventurers was shortish, with eyebrows of a beetling type, and the other tallish and loudish and sort of pleasingly treasurer-shaped.
Unlike poor Pooh, both of them had quite big brains. And they spent quite a bit of time building their Heffalump trap.
The pit they built was deep and terrifying, with steep, scrabbly sides and a bottom that was so deep that you could yell "Who do you trust?" into it and all you would hear back, after a few minutes, was "…rust?"
It was so big, in fact, that people worried their whole houses might fall into it.
In 2004, it even worked. It caught a Large Shambling Latham, who was walking along, swearing a little bit under his breath and thinking mean thoughts about the President of the United States when he fell into the Heffalump trap with a crash, and was barely heard from again.
But the thing about heffalump traps is that they don't go away.
And if you've been especially clever, and your Heffalump trap is especially cunning and well-disguised and temptingly baited, then there might come a day when you are wandering through the woods, humming a little tune and thinking about honey, when suddenly you step on a piece of the Forest which had been left out by mistake, and you find yourself… in the bottom of your own Heffalump trap.
Which is where our two adventurers found themselves yesterday.
With apologies to A.A. Milne and The Spectator.
This made me smile, through the headaches and the grinding of teeth, through the overwhelming urge to slap someone (Howard mostly), through the rain and the damn ants. It made me smile.
Annabel Crabb is the only thing worthwhile about this bloody election.
Behold - the wonders of the Pooh metephor!
The day two cunning adventurers fell into their own big Heffalump trap
Annabel Crabb
November 8, 2007
IT WAS reckless talk from Christopher Robin about Heffalumps - those terrifying, shambling creatures - that first planted the idea for Pooh and Piglet.
They would build a Heffalump trap!
You may be familiar with the story; the intrepid pair dig a Very Deep Pit in the woods, in the hope of ensnaring the fabled beast through sheer cunning.
"Pooh rubbed his nose with his paw, and said that the Heffalump might be walking along, humming a little song, and looking up at the sky, wondering if it would rain, and so he wouldn't see the Very Deep Pit until he was halfway down, when it would be too late."
Pooh and Piglet's Heffalump trap was baited with honey, which was a very clever choice of bait.
And it was cunningly disguised, so as to take the fearsome Heffalump completely unawares.
In fact, it was such a brilliant trap that after a while Pooh and Piglet forgot they had even built it, which was around about the point at which they both fell into it.
Three years ago in Australia, another pair of adventurers came up with a similar sort of trap.
One of the adventurers was shortish, with eyebrows of a beetling type, and the other tallish and loudish and sort of pleasingly treasurer-shaped.
Unlike poor Pooh, both of them had quite big brains. And they spent quite a bit of time building their Heffalump trap.
The pit they built was deep and terrifying, with steep, scrabbly sides and a bottom that was so deep that you could yell "Who do you trust?" into it and all you would hear back, after a few minutes, was "…rust?"
It was so big, in fact, that people worried their whole houses might fall into it.
In 2004, it even worked. It caught a Large Shambling Latham, who was walking along, swearing a little bit under his breath and thinking mean thoughts about the President of the United States when he fell into the Heffalump trap with a crash, and was barely heard from again.
But the thing about heffalump traps is that they don't go away.
And if you've been especially clever, and your Heffalump trap is especially cunning and well-disguised and temptingly baited, then there might come a day when you are wandering through the woods, humming a little tune and thinking about honey, when suddenly you step on a piece of the Forest which had been left out by mistake, and you find yourself… in the bottom of your own Heffalump trap.
Which is where our two adventurers found themselves yesterday.
With apologies to A.A. Milne and The Spectator.
This made me smile, through the headaches and the grinding of teeth, through the overwhelming urge to slap someone (Howard mostly), through the rain and the damn ants. It made me smile.
posted by actonb at 9:21 am
4 Comments:
It's a bit sad that I know this and even sadder that I'm going to raise it, but Piglet didn;t actually get caught in teh heffalump trap, he just freaked out and ran away when he saw Pooh down there.
I think the metaphor still stacks up pretty well, really.
More importantly, I'm glad you can smile, even in the midst of this endless and increasingly stupid campaign.
INC was a pedant of lawyerly yet cuddlesome shape.
This comment has been removed by the author.
mizanthrop - now you look all secret squirrel... intriguing!
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