Cherish...
Mid-way through our dedicated girly-day on Saturday, Miss M came to a shattering conclusion...
Madonna spends an awful lot of her video time writhing around on the floor.
Now, I kinda knew this already, but it took the clarity of a 9 year old to really make me realise the truth...
After the first ballroom dancing lesson, (yay! We love it ! We learned the samba and the salsa and the jive and the waltz! - them. Huh? In an hour? - me) we headed into the Gong for a flippy skirt for Miss H, because as we all know, you just can't dance properly in jeans... (you also can't dance properly when you have congenital unco-ness, but that's another story). So, Best & Less provided a cheap, yet suitably flippy skirt for Miss H, (and an adorable black shirt-dress for Miss M), I avoided the urge to indulge in some blatant flirting with the lovely Bill at the DJs kitchenware counter (mainly because I was playing mother-hen to two over-excited tweens, and feeling decidedly frumpy), and we trooped off for Sushi Train. Because I have the best daughters in the whole wide world. Who prefer fish-egg sushi to maccas and donuts! Yay!
Okuma Sushi Train has this massive TV screen over the kitchen window, and I'm guessing it was the 'OMG! Can he be any camper!' waitperson chose the DVD, because it was Madonna's Immaculate Collection. We walked in halfway through Material Girl, and left just after Cherish, having wandered the byways of nostalgia through Papa Don't Preach (Italians Do It Better!) and La Isla Bonita. It was during Like a Prayer, when I managed to tear M's gaze away from the screen for long enough to choose another plate of sushi (she was transfixed. The entire visit...) she commented, in passing,
M: gee! this person likes lying down a lot doesn't she?
Me: Do you know who it is?
M: Nope.
Me: It's Madonna!
M: Oh. Right. I know Madonna. I've seen her on Rage.
[Me, aside, huh? When have you seen Rage? Ohhhhh. That's right. When you come upstairs at 6am on a Sat morning, and I choose to completely disregard my commitment to Accountable Parenting by telling you to go watch TV. And being the good indoctrinated girl that you are, you only watch the ABC]
M: Is she a Christian then?
Me: er, no. I don't think so - the crosses are making a political statement. It caused a big scandal when it was released about, um, (OMG! How old am I?) 20 years ago. But I don't think God was really bothered about it, to be honest.
M: Oh. Right. *loses attention immediately*
It was a great little nostalgia trip, and made me think about how pretty Madonna used to be. In Like a Prayer, she's bopping around, all carefree and girly... with y'know body fat and all. Not much, just enough to cover the muscles and sinews. Just enough to make her look cuddly and glowy... Unlike the recent video clip I saw, with that feral leotard and the glazed expression *I must stay focused! I cannot grow old! I cannot have body fat! I must be a lean, mean, dancing machine! I must stay cutting-edge! I am Madonna! I am the Queen of Pop! Bow down and worship meeeee!* There's just no fun anymore.
She just seems to be trying too hard.
Says I, who's never tried hard at anything in her life. I am life's piker. Pfft.
Madonna spends an awful lot of her video time writhing around on the floor.
Now, I kinda knew this already, but it took the clarity of a 9 year old to really make me realise the truth...
After the first ballroom dancing lesson, (yay! We love it ! We learned the samba and the salsa and the jive and the waltz! - them. Huh? In an hour? - me) we headed into the Gong for a flippy skirt for Miss H, because as we all know, you just can't dance properly in jeans... (you also can't dance properly when you have congenital unco-ness, but that's another story). So, Best & Less provided a cheap, yet suitably flippy skirt for Miss H, (and an adorable black shirt-dress for Miss M), I avoided the urge to indulge in some blatant flirting with the lovely Bill at the DJs kitchenware counter (mainly because I was playing mother-hen to two over-excited tweens, and feeling decidedly frumpy), and we trooped off for Sushi Train. Because I have the best daughters in the whole wide world. Who prefer fish-egg sushi to maccas and donuts! Yay!
Okuma Sushi Train has this massive TV screen over the kitchen window, and I'm guessing it was the 'OMG! Can he be any camper!' waitperson chose the DVD, because it was Madonna's Immaculate Collection. We walked in halfway through Material Girl, and left just after Cherish, having wandered the byways of nostalgia through Papa Don't Preach (Italians Do It Better!) and La Isla Bonita. It was during Like a Prayer, when I managed to tear M's gaze away from the screen for long enough to choose another plate of sushi (she was transfixed. The entire visit...) she commented, in passing,
M: gee! this person likes lying down a lot doesn't she?
Me: Do you know who it is?
M: Nope.
Me: It's Madonna!
M: Oh. Right. I know Madonna. I've seen her on Rage.
[Me, aside, huh? When have you seen Rage? Ohhhhh. That's right. When you come upstairs at 6am on a Sat morning, and I choose to completely disregard my commitment to Accountable Parenting by telling you to go watch TV. And being the good indoctrinated girl that you are, you only watch the ABC]
M: Is she a Christian then?
Me: er, no. I don't think so - the crosses are making a political statement. It caused a big scandal when it was released about, um, (OMG! How old am I?) 20 years ago. But I don't think God was really bothered about it, to be honest.
M: Oh. Right. *loses attention immediately*
It was a great little nostalgia trip, and made me think about how pretty Madonna used to be. In Like a Prayer, she's bopping around, all carefree and girly... with y'know body fat and all. Not much, just enough to cover the muscles and sinews. Just enough to make her look cuddly and glowy... Unlike the recent video clip I saw, with that feral leotard and the glazed expression *I must stay focused! I cannot grow old! I cannot have body fat! I must be a lean, mean, dancing machine! I must stay cutting-edge! I am Madonna! I am the Queen of Pop! Bow down and worship meeeee!* There's just no fun anymore.
She just seems to be trying too hard.
Says I, who's never tried hard at anything in her life. I am life's piker. Pfft.
Labels: Curly Girls
posted by actonb at 9:24 am
10 Comments:
She looked better before she became the muscle nazi.
But she was never pretty, IMO. And her clothes have gotten a lot more ick recently. The leotards are fest.
hey, no dissin mads......werd.
i confess that i have never really liked Madge. is that bad?
LaRue - the leotards are painful. If only to make me think how feral I'd look in one. And I think she is pretty in her earlier manifestations.
Shroom - yo, yo, yo wassup dawg???? Madge takes herself waaay too seriously. That's not disrespect. Just honesty.
Mex - I liked Mads when I was in years 7 - 10. Then I kinda forgot she existed for a while. Then when she burst into our communal psyche I went 'ewwww'. I think not. So, um, in short - it's not bad at all.
Oh! Madonna gives me the willies! All that writhing sinewy lycra-clad muscle where there should be pleasingly wobbly bits.
And I agree, actonb. She used to be pretty. And her daughter looks just like she used to.
Madonna's a couple of days younger than my mother.
So whenever I see the writhing around in leotards I just see my mother.
Hence why I can't stand watching her without feeling a little nauseous.
meva - lourdes is very pretty. But i dread to think what her body image will be like - can you imagine a puberty-ridden Lourdes, with Madonna for a mother... the stress! the tears! and that's not even taking in consideration her half latino/half italian heritage!
lucy - really? you have such a young mum! Or have I forgotten just how old Madonna really is??? And yes, it's just Wrong. The writhing that is.
Yeah, the new madonna? Rather ewwww.
Miss M sounds awesome actonb.
Actonb et al,
I don't know - I reckon she was always a bit rough looking, which is why her toned-ness is so offputting - it doesn't match her face.
gw - hmm, intersting theory. Her toned-ness is off-putting because she looks like a model for the anatomy class on 'muscular system'
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