not so Good Friday
Look, I'm not going to muck about here, I'm feeling a decided lack of inspiration (and there have been no kind offers of memes either) - and it's not just the blogging, it's everything. I need these 4 days off, even if MrB has got to do an essay, which means I'm on child-minding (and child-keeping-quiet) duty.
I having one of those terribly female phases of dropping things and getting all shaky and bursting into tears for no apparent reason (and NO! I am NOT pregnant before you even think that) Last night I dropped a dish of roasting carrots and tomatoes, and got quite irrationally upset about it - MrB was trying to comfort me about the shattered baking dish, but that wasn't what was upsetting me - it was the loss of the carrots. I really really wanted roasted carrots and tomatoes with my roast beef and potato bake. Like really...
Maybe it's because it's Easter, and our family has the worst luck at Easter... So subconsciously I guess I'm strung rather tightly, just waiting for the axe to fall...
And it's Good Friday, and I haven't made it to church. Again. And my soul is aching... I'll make it on Sunday, even if it kills me. I'm not too sure why I've been letting 'life' interfere with the church-going, but I think it's probably something to do with the lack of my RevJen. Although I thought it would be liberating to just be a bum on a pew, I'm kinda reticent to go knowing that her warm (though harried) smile won't be welcoming me. Which is precisely why I need to go. Because church shouldn't be about the people sitting alongside me, it should be about Him. And everything else is just a pathetic excuse.
INC's post showed up in Bloglines this morning, and I can't add to it, other than to say - go, read - and I'll have the CD playing, along with the New Irish hymns, because Mohammad, mountain etc.
And now I'm going to spend the rest of this grey and rainy Friday baking Hot Cross Buns, and hope the warm and comforting spices bring home to my selfish heart the sacrifice of my Crucified Christ.
I having one of those terribly female phases of dropping things and getting all shaky and bursting into tears for no apparent reason (and NO! I am NOT pregnant before you even think that) Last night I dropped a dish of roasting carrots and tomatoes, and got quite irrationally upset about it - MrB was trying to comfort me about the shattered baking dish, but that wasn't what was upsetting me - it was the loss of the carrots. I really really wanted roasted carrots and tomatoes with my roast beef and potato bake. Like really...
Maybe it's because it's Easter, and our family has the worst luck at Easter... So subconsciously I guess I'm strung rather tightly, just waiting for the axe to fall...
And it's Good Friday, and I haven't made it to church. Again. And my soul is aching... I'll make it on Sunday, even if it kills me. I'm not too sure why I've been letting 'life' interfere with the church-going, but I think it's probably something to do with the lack of my RevJen. Although I thought it would be liberating to just be a bum on a pew, I'm kinda reticent to go knowing that her warm (though harried) smile won't be welcoming me. Which is precisely why I need to go. Because church shouldn't be about the people sitting alongside me, it should be about Him. And everything else is just a pathetic excuse.
INC's post showed up in Bloglines this morning, and I can't add to it, other than to say - go, read - and I'll have the CD playing, along with the New Irish hymns, because Mohammad, mountain etc.
And now I'm going to spend the rest of this grey and rainy Friday baking Hot Cross Buns, and hope the warm and comforting spices bring home to my selfish heart the sacrifice of my Crucified Christ.
Labels: Navel-gazing, Super Spiro
posted by actonb at 10:13 am
8 Comments:
Hugs, AB. Hugs.
And maybe I come at it differently, being not of the God persuasion, but really, it IS about the people sitting alongside you - at least a bit. You build a community and at some point it doesn't matter what it's based on, it becomes a thing all of its own. And when it shifts - of course you're going to feel it. As much as you think it shouldn't matter, it does.
So hugs, and don't be so hard on yourself, for you rock.
Also many warm and welcoming hugs. Roasted carrots are delicious and I understand the sadness at dropping them.
Ooo home made hot cross buns - can you post one down to me. Or even just post the lovely smell?
I hope that you have a delightful easter with lots of love and family surrounding you.
Thanks for the hugs :)
I've just discovered that 10 year old boys squeal and giggle exactly the same as 9 year old girls... who'da thunk it? M and her little friends are playing soccer in the rain, and I seriously can't tell which is the one girl out there...
Oh. Apart from the characteristically LOUD 'Ha! Aiden you suck!' which would be her...
Hope your day was a better one actonb. I too am sending you hugs, and hope that your Easter is a lovely one.
Oh MsS B, I am sorry to hear your weekend started unhappily.
Chesty has a point. Churches have to be about the community that you find, and create, there. Otherwise we could all just stay home every Sunday.
I didn't make it to church yesterday either, so I do feel your pain on that one. I really hope things pick up for you soon.
Sending you loads of parenthesis'
(((((((((((((((actonb)))))))))))))))
Hope your w'end gets betterer.
xx
Thanks all - the weekend did get better. And I think MrB and I have come to a decision re church...
And Hot Cross Buns always make life better.
And I hope your Easter weekend, though grey and wet, were full of family and food and all round lovliness...
Post a Comment
<< Home