Karma'll get you...
This morning, in an attempt to work out what was causing the stench in our vestibule, I asked the girls if either of them had perchance left an item of citrussy goodness in the bottom of their school bag...
Miss M immediately denied that she had. I believed her, as she's that kind of girl.
Miss H looked perplexed. And removed her bag from her back, turned away, scrabbled around, and eventually brought out a not-too-rotten mandarin. Her look of utter guilt, as well her vain attempt to hide the rest of the contents of her bag, prompted me to further investigate... Miss H looked even more crestfallen "I'm a bad girl" she announced as she handed me her bag. Which was filled to the brim with crap - mouldy bread squashed against merit certificates, rotten fruit languishing on a bed of green crumbs... I emptied the lot into the bin. She was surprised she wasn't grounded on the spot. But I have a school-lunch related skeleton in my own closet...
Once upon a time, when I was but a wee bairn... Well I was about Miss H's age or maybe a little older... I decided that I didn't like my brown-bread sandwiches, filled with ham or cheese and other good things. No. I wanted white bread with peanut butter, like the other kids... So. I voted with my feet, or rather my stomach, and refused to partake of such brown bread feralness. But I didn't throw the food in the bin at school. Because that would be wasting food, which is a Bad Thing. So I brought it home, and in a classic case of 'Out of Sight is Out of Mind' I chucked them out of the little side window of my bedroom.
Time Passed...
One day, Dad decided he needed to change a fuse. The fuse box was on the side of the house, right underneath a little window in my room... He was perplexed when he discovered a large number of green packages strewn around the ground, as well as on top of the fuse box... What were these little green plastic-wrapped parcels of mould...?
The penny dropped. Actonb was summoned to the scene of the crime... She was severely punished (well I can't actually remember the punishment, but I'm going to assume it was severe) And she was never, ever allowed to forget the utter stupidity that allowed her to seriously think that no-one would find out about the sandwiches...
So - I know the painful lightbulb moment Miss H has just experienced. Her only punishment will be the sound of her siblings laughing at her for ever after...
posted by actonb at 2:37 pm
8 Comments:
I just checked my 'skoolbag' and found a glad bag full of something green as well.......oh boy will i be in trouble when i get home...
I might have to confiscate that from you, Mushie.
When we were kids Mum made us lunch everyday without fail. At one stage, she noticed my brother's room getting funkier and funkier. A brief search for the source ensued and she found, behind the curtain on the windowsill, a pile of sandwiches in varying degrees of decay. She was not impressed…
Shrooms - I think you'll be in trouble if there's none left when you get home... (Hey MissShroom!)
Omel - teeheehee. I'd like to watch you try...!
OA - what is it with kids and sandwiches? I remember having a conversation with a Good Greek Girl, shortly after the window incident... She was forcing herself to eat her sandwich, almost gagging. I asked her why she didn't just chuck it - she replied that her mother had told her she would know if she hadn't eaten her lunch and she would be in big trouble. She was pertrifed!
I think it is the fact that while you chow down on your lunch-box in the 30degree heat baked sandwich, there are always the other kids (the cool kids) who have tuck-shop money every day. The sandwich that looked great when Mum made it at 6am is a hot, melted mess of foam bread and squishy vegemite. Or the other kids start teasing you because the cold meat your Mum bought had all manner of fancy stuff in it that in the end just looks like snot. "eww you're a snot eater. Snot eater! Snot eater!" while they are munching on their tuckshop pie. Bastards.
i got tuckshop money everyday becuase my mum never ever once made me a proper lunch to take to school.
at primary school it was lunch orders. at senior school it was $2 for lunch.
i usually used to swap my $2 with one of the borders for a boarding house lunch of sandwiches and fruit.
I also suffered with the health food mum. Little salads and warm yoghurt were my pet hates. Fancy pieces of fruit that no one else knew what they were (starfruit in 1988 anyone?).
How I wanted a vegemite sandwich and a packet of crisps.
We were only allowed lunch orders during winter. Ever friday during winter we were allowed a sausage roll. If we didn't want a sausage roll, we didn't get a lunch order.
I swear the deprivation has resulted in my massive therapy bills :)
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